I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
