I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
