I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
