I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
