Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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