Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
