i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
