I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
