you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
