Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Randomize
