Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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