Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize
