I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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