so explain again why im purple
no
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We just shotgunned beers for America
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
