I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
