hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
