Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
