i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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