I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
