What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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