i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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