i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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