Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
