Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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