Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
