Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
