"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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