Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Randomize
