the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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