You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
