Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
