He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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