don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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