I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
