I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
