It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Vodka?
Forever.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
My ass is underappreciated
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
