That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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