Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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