in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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