thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
