Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
