Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
