took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
