he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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