Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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