we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
