He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
