rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
