The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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