I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
