you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
