dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
